How do you tell if your partner is manipulating you?
Not all controlling business partners behave the same way. Therefore, partners must be able to recognize damaging behavior in their partners.
Sometimes, the tendency is to explain this behavior by saying, “Tim is emotional today” or “Barbara is just having a bad day.” Still, when unwarranted behavior repeats itself over and over, partners must take action.
When individuals fail to notice their partners’ damaging and offensive behavior, the company is in danger. Clashing, resentful partners do not run successful, striving companies. So, what are some of these “red flags” that should cause partners to take notice?
- The Partner Plays the Blame Game
Responsibility is different from blame. When a company performs well, every partner wants to take responsibility for the business’ strides. However, when a business suffers, it is often time for partners to admit that their decisions or actions were wrong.
Manipulative partners know how powerful blame is, and they use that power to put others down. Controlling business partners dole out blame to everyone but never blame themselves. Sometimes, the weaker employees, managers, and even partners believe that all of the company’s problems are their fault.
Usually, when a business flounders, it is everyone’s fault and cannot be heaped on one person. However, if partners continually hear their partner saying, “it’s all your fault,” or asking, “why did you do this?” they may have a manipulative partner with bad intentions.
- The Partner is Talented—at Criticism
Domineering business partners know that when they critique their partners’ words or actions, they weaken their confidence. But, in doing so, they avoid blame.
Some business partners seem to always be there when individuals make mistakes but never when they do something right. When a business partner continually criticizes another’s actions, they poison the partnership and make the person constantly second guess themselves.
Healthy criticism plays a valuable role in positive partnerships. We do not learn from constant praise—we need to know what skills can be improved. However, a red flag is clearly visible when a partner never reacts positively. Criticism is also a key to controlling others, as well.
- The Partner Gaslights the Other Partners
We often hear the term “gaslighting” mentioned in the media, but that does not mean it is not a form of emotional abuse. When one individual “gaslights” another, they make them second-guess themselves.
For example, Paul and Dre are partners at a Los Angeles law firm. Paul continually insults Dre, and his behavior grows worse and worse. When Dre finally confronts him, Paul says Dre is “overly sensitive” and “making things up.” Paul repeats these phrases until Dre questions himself. Dre wonders: am I overly sensitive? Did this happen?
Gaslighting successfully undermines peoples’ emotions and is a powerful defense tactic.
- The Partner Enjoys Intimidating Others
Sometimes, individuals are not aware that their partners control them. Intimidation is one of the ways that partners control others. Partners who purposefully intimidate other partners will often:
- Talk down to them
- Threatens them in joking terms
- Act superior
- Undermine them at every turn
- The Partner’s Moods Fluctuate
When entrepreneurs notice that their partner’s mood is never stable, this may be a warning sign that they are either undergoing psychological stress or trying to control things.
Some partners act this way on purpose: they know that if they constantly change their persona, their partners will never be able to predict their actions. As a result, controlling partners want to be unpredictable, and many want to inspire fear.
If individuals notice unpredictable behavior, bizarre emotional states, or abusive behavior, they should take these warning signs seriously and alert the other partners and possibly the authorities. It might be smart to check in with the family of the controlling partner, too.
- They Always Want to go Their Way.
Difficult partners do not accept “no” as an answer. They have a plan, and if the other partners do not want to stick to it, they do not care. They do not worry about personal boundaries, and sometimes they do not even care about the company as much as they do their desires.
Controlling partners are also talented manipulators. They may have risen to the top because of their powers of persuasion, but their concerns are self-motivated. They can convince people of nearly anything, but they place themselves first and the business second. In doing so, many controlling company partners perpetually violate their fiduciary duty.
Business partners should be able to share in each other’s successes. A strong business in any industry is built on individual accomplishments and collective goals. Powerful, profitable companies also depend on supportive atmospheres that encourage growth.
Therefore, if one partner is always jealous, this is a warning sign. Feelings of insecurity often accompany jealousy. Jealous partners usually feel inadequate, searching for situations they can control. Jealousy is a toxic trait that can quickly damage a workplace.
For example, Kyle and Thomas run a coffee shop in Mission Beach, California. Kyle is excited because he has a fantastic new idea that will lead to more exposure. He wants to give out tiny cups of their new coffee blend on the beach. Kyle thinks the early-morning surfers, joggers, and bikers will return to their coffee shop.
When Kyle tells Thomas, Thomas grows angry. Thomas knows the idea is excellent but refuses to admit it. Why? Because Thomas is a controlling business partner who is upset that he did not think of the idea first. If Thomas continues acting like this, the partners’ coffee shop will not achieve its potential.
- They Never Get Enough Power
Controlling partners sometimes are mistaken for overachievers. But, sometimes, their controlling and manipulative actions helped them climb the corporate ladder in the first place.
However, when a company partner tries to do the business exactly what they want, they are excluding everyone else’s views. Unless it is a sole proprietorship, a business is a collective.
Controlling partners exhibit behavior full of warning signs, so be on the lookout for:
- Partners who urge people to change their personalities
- Partners who provide others with unsolicited lists of things to accomplish
- Partners who degrade others’ dress, speech, and behavior
For example, Judy and Therese are business partners on their way to an important meeting. On the way to the meeting, Judy eyes Therese’s skirt, shirt, and pumps and says, “Are you wearing that to meet the client?”
This simple yet toxic remark doesn’t simply stress Therese out. It creates doubt. Therese’s presentation flops, the business does not secure the client agreement, and Therese blames herself. On the other hand, Judy is happy because she exercises her power.
This example may seem extreme, and while it is simplistic, it accurately represents how toxic business partners act daily. Of course, business partners must deal with their controlling counterparts to prevent them from damaging the company, but what if it is time to dissolve the business and move on?
What Are the Steps to Dissolving a Business?
Business partners should attempt to work things out amid a dispute, and we have provided several suggestions. However, sometimes business partners realize that they must make dramatic changes. Sometimes, business partners know that the personality conflict is not going away, and they must do what is best for themselves and their careers.
When dialogue with a partner is impossible, or the conversations do not yield any solutions, it is time to end the partnership. Dissolving a partnership consists of two unique stages: these are the period before dissolution and the process of dissolution itself.
What Are the Necessary Steps for Pre-Dissolution?
The pre-dissolution phase centers on preparatory work. Here are the actions to take before the business partners dissolve the company.
- Review the operating agreement
Partnerships begin with operating or partnership agreements, and these founding documents are just as important when the partnership has run its course. Normally, a partnership agreement includes information and provisions regarding how the partnership can be dissolved. All the involved partners should study these instructions so they can come to a uniform consensus.
While most funding agreements include terms of dissolution, some companies did not begin with a partnership agreement. Therefore, the business partners must meet and agree on proper dissolution procedures in this case. This conversation can be difficult for partners who disagree, but an attorney can help the parties reach an agreement.
- Check on the Company’s Finances
Before bringing the business to an end, partners must check the company’s financial picture. Again, bringing in a professional helps to make assessing the business’ finances more manageable, especially during a busy time.
Partners must figure out how much money the business currently has and how much capital will remain after splitting up the assets along with business partners and paying out the company’s remaining debts and liabilities.
When considering the financial state of the business, partners should be sure to closely go over:
-Liens that remain
-Any mortgages that must be paid
-Contracts that must be paid
-Other outstanding obligations
Also, partners should determine if unfinished work or clients must be dealt with before they end the partnership.
- Check on Property Loaned to the Business
Partners often loan personal property to their companies, and this property must be added to the dissolution process. Usually, these properties are covered in the partnership agreement or in provisions that the partners add over time.
If a partner finds that the property is not in its original condition, then the partner is entitled to damage compensation and should be sure to make a note of the issue.
If the property is not included in the partnership agreement, the business partner who loaned the property should locate the loan documentation. These documents will help strengthen the partner’s claim when they want their property back.
- Set Up a Meeting with a Business Lawyer
There is no better time for partners to meet with a business attorney than when business dissolution looms. However, do not be surprised if each business partner hires a separate attorney for help with the process, especially if a dispute fuels the dissolution.
An experienced lawyer will help company partners negotiate every step of the dissolution process, from the first setup phase to when the partners say goodbye to the business and each other.
- Have a Conversation About the Dissolution
When one partner is controlling or manipulative, it is difficult to have a productive conversation about the business. However, partners need to discuss the terms of the dissolution with each other before ending the business. This dialogue will prevent any surprises from occurring and limit the chances for additional disputes. When the business partners know what to expect from the dissolution, they can focus on finishing the process and moving on.
If the partnership agreement does not include dissolution terms or there is no agreement, then the partners must agree on the dissolution terms before proceeding with the process.
- Use a Mediator if Necessary
Often, business partners who do not get along anymore struggle to agree on the terms of dissolution. For example, some partners cannot find common ground in paying debts or sharing liabilities. Other times, business partners disagree on the company’s financial picture and how to spend the remaining money.
While partnership agreements can help guide partners through these decisions, some companies either do not have operating agreements or have incomplete ones. Plus, dealing with a controlling partner one-on-one can be difficult, even for the most determined and rational partners.
Hiring a mediator is an inexpensive solution that can help partners successfully make it through these final stages. Neutral third parties can listen, make suggestions, and remove emotion from the decision-making progress. If business partners struggle to make productive decisions, they should contact a mediator. A mediator can be the difference between making a successful mutual agreement and wasting time arguing over the terms of the dissolution.
What Are the Steps to Phase Two of Dissolution?
Once the dissolution process begins, there are a lot of different tasks to keep track of. Here are the most important steps.
- Sign the Dissolution Agreement
The business partners must draft an agreement detailing the dissolution of the company. This document must be certified and signed. When it is finalized, the document signifies the end of the business partnership.
It is important to have an experienced business attorney on hand to help partners draft the agreement and certify it. In addition, if one partner is difficult to deal with, the presence of a lawyer can also help keep them in line and keep the process moving forward.
- Formally Dissolve the Company
All partners must vote on the dissolution of the company, and all partners must follow the terms established in the partnership agreement. The vote must be recorded as well.
- Terminate All Credit Accounts
Dissolution occurs during a busy time, and some business partners forget to cancel some of their business credit accounts. Ensure that all company bank accounts and credit accounts are paid off and closed so that no debts follow the partners after dissolving the company.
When dealing with a toxic partner, there is always the risk that the person will purposefully create more debt before closing the partnership. These actions may be fueled by greed, resentment, or both, but closing accounts promptly prevent these acts from happening.
- Take Care of Company Liabilities
Before the business is no more, the partners must ensure that they have paid all their debts. If debts are unpaid, these problems can follow partners in their business careers and damage their credit. To ensure all outstanding debts have been paid, try paying off creditors before reimbursing any business partners—this will speed things along.
Once the partners and their attorneys have sorted out the company’s debts and liabilities, it is time for them to split up the remaining company money.
The partnership agreement should include instructions regarding divvying the business’s remaining capital and profits. However, if no agreement exists, the partners must reach a consensus regarding each partner’s payout amount and schedule.
The conversations can grow aggressive and emotional when partners in a dispute discuss payments. A mediator, an attorney, or both can help streamline the process and focus on outcomes instead of blame and anger.
- Reclaim Partners’ Property
Now is the time for business partners to reclaim their property. Sometimes, individuals forget this step in the dissolution activity flurry, so note it. Also, this is the time for partners to repossess their property if needed.
Need Assistance in Dealing with a Controlling Business Partner? Contact Nakase Wade Today
Even business partners who accomplish many mutual goals sometimes get into trouble. Human beings are vulnerable to emotions, and people also change over their lifetimes. Sometimes, business partners find themselves involved in troublesome disputes that are simply irreconcilable.
Often, disputes are caused by manipulative or controlling business partners. When one’s partner behaves negatively, the entire business can be down. However, if the other partners handle the situation with restraint, make practical choices, and contact an experienced attorney, they do not need to worry.
If your business partner has become controlling or the relationship has become toxic, we encourage you to try to remedy the situation before dissolving the business. Conversation and mediation are excellent ways to overcome the divisive personality issues that sometimes plague partnerships.
However, sometimes the business must be dissolved so everyone involved can move on. Our California business lawyers and corporate attorneys have helped many business partners negotiate successful dissolutions, and we are here to answer all your questions about the process.
In life and business, conflicts are unavoidable. However, business partners cannot allow controlling partners and business disputes to damage the companies they have worked hard for. Hopefully, the above tips will help you solve the problems caused by toxic business partners.
For further help with business disputes, questions about dealing with controlling business partners, or legal questions of any nature, contact Nakase Wade.
In the initial free consultation with our team, we will examine the company’s documents and note all relevant details. Then, we will provide you with options and listen to your decision.
We do not tell our clients what to do—we listen and provide choices. Every client is different, and every relationship among partners is just as unique. Our goal as a law firm is to secure the outcome you are hoping for, so you can return to pursuing your business goals.
Contact Nakase Wade today, and let’s confront your controlling partner immediately, so you can keep moving forward.