What Is a Personal Reference and Why It Matters in Job Applications?

Personal references offer valuable insights into your character and abilities beyond professional contexts, helping employers assess your suitability. Discover their importance in enhancing job applications and showcasing soft skills essential for career success.

By Brad Nakase, Attorney

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Table of Contents

1. What is the purpose of a personal reference?

2. Personal References: What Are They?

3. When Is a Personal Reference Necessary?

4. Who Can I Ask for a Personal Reference vs. a Professional Reference, and How Are They Different?

5. Am I able to use a relative as a reference?

6. Asking About a Personal Reference: What’s the Process?

What is the purpose of a personal reference?

Imagine going into your dream company, telling them everything about yourself, and getting the job offer on the spot. How amazing would that be? The reality is that there’s more work involved in looking for a job; potential employers care about more than just your appearance; they also want to hear what people have to say about you. Fortunately, having strong personal references may help you land your ideal job.

It is common practice to request personal and professional references from candidates, whether they are recent college graduates just starting out in their careers or long-term employees with extensive experience, at the conclusion of the recruiting process, following a series of interviews.

Personal References: What Are They?

A reference is an individual who provides information about you to a prospective employer so that they may get a better sense of who you are. Two categories exist: business and personal. Your work ethic, performance, and other professional qualities might be better understood when you ask a manager or team leader to speak on your behalf. If you want someone to vouch for your character and the abilities you’ve utilized in contexts outside of work, ask for a personal reference.

You might hear that personal references are less impressive than professional ones while you’re looking for a job, but that’s not necessarily the case. A prospective employer may still learn a lot about your work ethic and abilities from personal recommendations, even if you haven’t worked together before.

According to Nekpen Osuan Wilson, cofounder and CEO of WomenWerk, a personal reference is someone who can attest to your value to a company and the specific talents and abilities you would bring to the position you are applying for. If you’re looking for a position in project management, for instance, a personal reference who can attest to your proficiency in planning, managing time, and scheduling would be a great choice.

In addition to your academic credentials, personal recommendations help employers understand more about you as a person. An excellent personal reference demonstrates your versatility, according to Wilson. To assist hiring managers get a better sense of her, she frequently mentions her involvement with other boards or partners on social impact projects.

Potential employers may inquire about several things when they talk with your personal references, such as:

Core Principles
Integrity in employment
Collaborating effectively with others
Knowledge and abilities that are applicable both in and out of the workplace
Personality characteristics

Discussing your “soft talents” is a common question for job candidates. In both your professional and personal life, you probably make use of soft skills such as active listening, connection building, dispute resolution, organizing your time, and making decisions.

Wilson adds that personal recommendations are helpful when trying to convey a well-rounded candidate’s abilities and soft skills. You can show that you can succeed at work by asking a personal reference to speak about these abilities.

When Is a Personal Reference Necessary?

You should always comply with an employer’s direct request for a personal reference. It is acceptable practice to include a personal reference even if one is not explicitly requested. If you are applying for a job and don’t have enough or the right kind of professional references, or if a specific reference can’t attest to your abilities, you may use a personal reference to round out your application.

If an employer requests a certain number of professional references from an applicant, an entry-level worker who is short on those may choose to provide a personal reference to highlight relevant experience and qualifications.

If an entry-level candidate has strong personal references—for example, someone you’ve collaborated with on a personal, community, side, or school project or someone who has shared a hobby with you—they can help offset the candidate’s lack of professional experience and highlight their qualifications for the position.

Using a personal reference might also help when you’re seeking to change fields, apply for a position that involves working with certain groups (such as kids or people with disabilities), or demonstrate your value to an employer outside your regular duties.

Who Can I Ask for a Personal Reference vs. a Professional Reference, and How Are They Different?

People you know in contexts other than the workplace, including social clubs or community organizations, are considered personal references. Pick a personal reference who has worked with you in some capacity, even if it wasn’t in a strictly professional one (like an internship or a job), so they can at least give you an idea of how you typically work. In different contexts, you may be able to rely on the following individuals as personal references:

Mentors
Teachers in higher education
People you’ve met through membership in professional organizations or through networking
Those in charge of social clubs, interest organizations, or volunteer initiatives
Members of the coaching or teaching staff for extracurricular teams
Religious figures (e.g., a priest or pastor) who are qualified to comment on your work experience
Colleagues who have collaborated with you on a task or project

The person providing a professional reference needs to have worked in your professional context, according to Wilson. Those looking for work should reach out to individuals they’ve worked with in the past through internships, fellowships, or positions to get professional references. Typical people to approach include those to whom you have reported at work, such as managers or supervisors, but you can also ask a peer or colleague from the same or a different team with whom you have worked extensively.

You can include your own direct reports or any colleagues you oversaw on a project if you are seeking a leadership position. The fact that you both had a shared goal and purpose is the most important information, according to Wilson. When you and your reference work together toward a common aim, your reference will be able to describe your work ethic and the ways in which you contributed to the success of the team or project.

Possible references from the professional world include:

Leaders in management positions
Your company’s other executives and management
Members of your team at work
Departmental coworkers
Subordinates directly reporting to you
Clients
Executives and managers at the nonprofits where you’ve done volunteer work
Teachers in higher education
Partners in business

Academic advisors

Professors from your institution may have a more personal or more professional relationship with you, so it’s helpful to mention them as both types of references. You can use a professor you had in college as a personal reference if you were really close to them and maybe even considered them a mentor. It is acceptable practice to include professors as professional references if you have any kind of collaboration with them outside of class, such as helping with research or working as a teaching assistant.

Caution: If you don’t have any personal contact with your college professor and only know them from class, they aren’t a good choice for either form of reference. Being one of a hundred students at a lecture without engaging with the lecturer in any other way increases the likelihood that they won’t remember you well enough to provide a reference.

Am I able to use a relative as a reference?

You can do this if you really have to, but you should try every other alternative first.

In Wilson’s experience, however, it’s completely OK to mention family as a personal reference, as long as one criteria is met:. If you’re working on a big, important project with that relative, Wilson believes it’s OK. Did you establish a business partnership?

Are you both involved in the launch of a new initiative or project? Whether you want to start a small business, a community service project, a podcast, blog, or YouTube channel with a family member as a personal reference is a great way to demonstrate your ability to make a difference, whether in the business world or in social circles.

There are times when you feel that a family member crosses the line between being a personal reference and a professional one. As an illustration, Wilson mentions a friend of hers who, along with her uncle, established an orphanage in East Africa. In this case, it is okay to use Wilson’s uncle as a personal reference; he can speak to her resilience in the face of adversity and her dedication to helping others, so he’s a great choice for both types of references.

I would advise against use family members as personal references (if you want to use them at all) since employers frequently express concern that they may not be as impartial as a non-family boss or coworker.

Asking About a Personal Reference: What’s the Process?

Your approach to requesting a personal reference is just as crucial as the individual you ask. Maintaining an air of professionalism is essential regardless of the familiarity of the recipient. Never give out a reference’s contact details to a prospective employer without first asking them to be your reference. It is entirely up to you when you ask, but make sure to give them plenty of time to answer and get ready. It shows thoughtfulness and respect to ask someone to be your personal reference.

If you ask ahead of time, you will also have a chance to provide information that is relevant to the situation and to prep your reference. Your prospects of landing your dream job might take a hit if they aren’t in a position to give you an honest assessment.

When approaching a friend or family member for a personal reference, it’s a good idea to give them the exact resume you used for the position you’re applying for, along with a link to your portfolio and anything else that might help them be ready to speak positively about you to potential employers.

To further assist your reference in discussing your qualifications with the employer, it is helpful to supply them with a copy of the job description. This will ensure that they are aware of the duties and expectations of the position. Prospective employees should take stock of their soft talents and make sure their personal references have concrete instances of their use in order to bring them up in reference conversations and letters.

It is recommended to submit the request in writing through LinkedIn or email in the majority of cases. This is one example of a formal reference request; however, you should replace all of your personal details with your own:

Dear Ms. Stone,

I hope all is well with you! I’m contacting you to inquire about the possibility of using you as a personal reference. Volunteering with you at the Guinea Pig Rescue Center in the summer of 2019 was a pleasure, and I appreciate all the help you gave me as a more seasoned volunteer.

In the time after, I honed my skills as an animal caretaker and am now submitting my application to SoCal Animal Shelter for the post of veterinary assistant. Your glowing recommendation would go a long way toward demonstrating to the hiring manager my commitment to the welfare of animals and my enthusiasm for the position. Please inform me by Saturday whether you would be prepared to speak on my behalf; I have a reference list to give to the recruiting manager by next weekend.

If you are interested in reviewing my most current work history, I have included my résumé for your review. I can also provide you with the job description if you’d need further details about the role, and I can also summarize my relevant expertise and abilities from my time at the Guinea Pig Rescue Center if you’d like. I wish you a fantastic week ahead in the meanwhile!

Thank you for taking the time to review my request,

Lottie

777-777-7777

Lottapigs@email.com

Choose a less formal tone if you’re inviting a buddy or leader of a social group out on a more informal basis. Although the tone will be more casual and conversational, you will still make the request clearly, use professional language, and give an actionable next step for your reference, just as in the prior sample. Consider the following:

Hi Claire,

I trust all is well with you! Since we were both looking for jobs when we last spoke, I’m happy to report that I’ve come across several fantastic opportunities for project coordinators and can’t wait to submit my applications! In the event that any employers ask for references, would you be open to providing one?

If that’s the case, the recruiting managers will get in touch with you via email or phone to inquire about your time spent working with me. Based on our work together on the history group project, I believe you would be an excellent reference for my abilities in working in a team, solving problems, and keeping track of projects. I will forward your details to the recruiting manager and let you know when you may expect a response, provided that you are okay with this.

Feel free to review my LinkedIn profile and the accompanying résumé at your convenience. I’m interested in hearing about your progress and learning how I can be of assistance to you as you look for work, so I’m crossing my fingers that we can get together soon. Have a great weekend!

Warm regards,

Louis

555-555-5555

Louis@email.com

You will be able to construct a strong reference request if you use these examples as a guide. Be ready to follow through with all the promises you made in your email if the individual you contact agrees to serve as your personal reference. Verify the most up-to-date contact details for future reference, and provide them anything they may need to be ready. Once you’ve finished interviewing and sent their name to the interviewer or hiring manager, be sure to tell them. Additionally, please provide any information you have on when the hiring manager intends to contact them.

Check in with your references after they’ve been contacted. Your reference could be able to fill you in on the details of the employer’s phone discussion with you, including the questions asked and the tone of the chat. Do remember that employers never divulge details regarding their job hunt to references; as a result, all you can expect from them is their assessment of the discussion or the questions that came up.

Wilson advises that, regardless of the outcome of the hiring process, you should always express gratitude to your references. If you want to add a personal touch to your thank you card, drop off or mail a handwritten note instead of using email. In order to show your reference how much you appreciate their time, you may send them a little gift. The kind of the connection and the individual involved are the determining factors, Wilson states.

A coffee mug, an eGift card, or something they’re known to collect would be perfect examples of what you might present as a token of your appreciation. You are under no obligation to send a present, but a simple “thank you” message might go a long way—after all, they could have been instrumental in your recent career success!

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