What Are the Different Types of Toxic Coworkers?

What is a toxic coworker?

Toxic coworkers: what are they and why are they so annoying? The truth is, being in the company of toxic people hinders your productivity and health.

There is a wide range of characteristics that might be associated with toxic coworkers. Susie Silver, a senior consultant at The Diversity Movement—an organization that assists organizations in incorporating DEI into their operations through coaching, evaluations, planning, and education—describes such coworkers as often being unwilling to collaborate, not listening, and speaking over others.

According to Robert H. Johnson Jr., a leadership and DEI consultant and head of International Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Enablement at DoorDash, toxic coworkers are typically dissatisfied with their own performance, position, pay, or experience in the workforce. They let their discontent to boil over and become detractors within the culture.

Microaggressions are something that Dr. Nika White, a consultant for diversity, equity, and inclusion, considers when she considers toxic coworkers and the negative impact that they can have on workers. There is more than one way to describe microaggressions, White explains. However, the majority of the time, it’s those understated forms of discrimination and exclusion that lead to feelings of othering, oppression, and a lack of belonging.

One of the most important components of a good workplace is a psychologically safe environment free from oppression and exclusion, which in turn affects employees’ capacity to be themselves and give their all on the job. Withdrawal and self-doubt set in when you feel you can’t be authentic in social situations.

The effects of having toxic coworkers can extend far and wide. According to Silver, workplace engagement, creativity, risk-taking, and productivity will all take a hit. In addition to having an immediate and long-term impact on workers’ mental health and careers, this kind of stifling can lead to feelings of isolation.

Coworkers can range from mildly bothersome to downright toxic. Here are five examples of toxic coworkers and some strategies for dealing with them, whether you want to change their ways or simply avoid being around them.

1. The person who always complains

As the name implies, this coworker is never satisfied and is thus easy to spot.

According to Johnson Jr., having a coworker with a negative attitude can be extremely frustrating. They constantly complain about things like the coffee not being hot enough, the flavor not being to their liking, the meeting not being at the time they need it, and their manager being awful. This kind of attitude can really affect how you feel about working there.

A major issue arises when an employee complains all the time and doesn’t seem to get their point across. Although it’s normal to need a shoulder to cry on every once in a while or a friend to lean on, being negative all the time is exhausting for everyone involved. Furthermore, if they do not address their issues with their supervisor or, if applicable, their union, the situation is unlikely to improve.

Strategies for handling someone who is often complaining 

In all likelihood, your coworker will vent their frustrations on you first because you are someone they know and trust.

Saying anything along the lines of “First of all, Ted, I get what you’re talking about but frankly I haven’t felt that way” (or something similar) is a great way to meet a complainer where they are, according to Johnson Jr.

However, if their once-in-a-while gripes become continual rants, you might need to take a more direct approach to get them to reconsider their pessimistic outlook.

Saying something along the lines of “I’ve had enough jobs to know that there’s always going to be something you don’t like” would be helpful, according to previous career coach Kyle Lee. Instead of dwelling on the things we can’t change, it’s far better to look on the bright side and make sure you know why you’re doing things. It may be effective for the complainer as well.

Johnson Jr. argues that dealing with a chronic complainer is like trying to flip a switch for self-awareness. That way, they’ll see that they’re constantly moaning and wonder why. Then it turns into a search within instead of a bad feeling projected outward, Johnson Jr. says. Each person has the choice: “I can stick around and make things right, or I can go and discover a place that suits me better.”

You can also try to divert the complainer’s attention, change the topic, or put some space between you and the complainer if none of those things work. You shouldn’t have to shoulder the burden of improving your coworker’s attitude all by yourself.

Lea McLeod, a career adviser, suggests using “getaway phrases” like “I have a phone call I need to get on” or “I need to plan for the meeting this afternoon” to quickly get out of talks that are going to degenerate into whining.

2. The person who talks about other people

Outside of work or at company-sponsored happy hours, many of us spread rumors about our coworkers. Although it’s bad enough when coworkers indulge in harmful small talk about each other from time to time, when they start talking about other individuals behind their backs all the time, it becomes toxic.

If you’re having a conversation with this person, you can be sure that they will spill the beans about their coworkers, whether it’s Cade from marketing or Sarah from reception, and you’ll never know if what they say is legit or not.

Workplace gossipers may be uncomfortable about their own abilities, believe that gossiping brings them closer to their coworkers, or be seeking attention. No matter the motivation, a coworker’s trash-talking can lower morale and undermine the mental health of the team.

A guide on how to handle a gossiper

Before you face that gossipy coworker, arm yourself with scripts. You might say something like, “Huh. That sounds made up” is a strategy that Silver suggests you can use to cut off or at least downplay your coworker’s gossip in the heat of the moment by showing that you’re not prepared to participate either. “Ugh, I’d rather chat about [weekend plans/an interesting new project/etc.]—how’s it going?” is another subtle subject shift option.

Silver suggests avoiding conversations that revolve around gossip as an additional strategy. Saying you’re busy or ready to dive into a meeting is a great way to bow out, much like when dealing with a complainer. Another option is to just state that you prefer not to get involved in gossip, if you are feeling brave enough to do so.

If you successfully redirect these conversations, your coworker will hopefully realize they can’t get their fix from you and quit bothering you with gossip.

3. Someone who takes all the credit

You may be familiar with this scenario: you’re trying to impress someone in a meeting with a brilliant plan or quip, but no one pays attention to you or appreciates what you have to say. After a few minutes, someone else brings up the identical point and takes advantage of the compliments without offering you any credit for bringing them up first.

The unfortunate reality is that credit thieves frequently target individuals of color and women. According to Johnson Jr., a Black man, no one hears the recommendation that he makes as a person of color until my peer, Sam, or anyone, who could be male or white, echoes the same idea, which then becomes their brain-child. It’s like the in-group gets all the attention and his voice gets muted.

But it’s more than just stealing someone else’s ideas. In front of or behind closed doors with your supervisor or senior leaders, the credit thief might even try to pass off your successes as their own. Although it was really a team effort, they might imply that they were the driving force behind the project. And there’s always the possibility that they’ll approach you privately for your opinion, which they’ll thereafter claim personally.

Even worse, when they are unable to claim credit for your accomplishments, the credit thief may downplay their significance. When you’re feeling pleased after giving a great talk, they may reply, “It was fine. Personally, I think X, Y, and Z would have been better choices.”

What to do if someone steals your credit

Take a deep breath before responding to a credit thief who recycles an idea you already shared twenty minutes earlier.

In that scenario, you can say something like, “I’m delighted what I said before resonated with you,” while remaining calm. “I’m happy that you found my suggestion useful! Let’s continue our conversation about this. Is there anything else I can help with, or do you have any questions?

“You’re approaching them with a gentle tone,” remarks Johnson Jr.

Make sure your manager and others can see your contributions—for example, by copying them on specific updates—and be careful about what you share, with whom, and when if their behavior goes beyond meetings.

4. The one who is a microaggressor

The effects of microaggressions on workers can be substantial. Whether verbal or nonverbal, they perpetuate harmful preconceptions about a person based on their gender, color, sexual orientation, religion, or any other disadvantaged characteristic, according to White.

As an example of workplace prejudice, Johnson Jr. cites the following examples: coworkers calling women “sweetie” or saying “I have a lot of Black friends!” to a person of color as an attempt to disprove racism.

Due to the subtlety and unconsciousness of microaggressions, it is not uncommon for people to fail to notice them and to find justifications for their colleagues’ actions.

When asked about the need to hold individuals accountable, educate them, and create safe spaces to do so, White answers that it’s not to suggest that we have to guilt, shame, and blame people.”

Strategies for overcoming a microaggressor

Though it may be challenging, defusing a microaggressor is certainly doable. Since it’s uncomfortable, it’s awkward, Johnson Jr. says, adding that individuals will typically go to their boss before addressing the person directly. Maybe you’re asking, “Why do I even have to deal with this? We’re both adults.” If you feel confident enough to try it, though, he says direct communication is the way to go.

A possible response would be: “Chris, you know what? Please don’t use this word or talk about me in such a way again. It’s a microaggression that degrades and minimizes a person. Do you understand what a microaggression is?”

According to Johnson Jr., the reason why some individuals are unaware of the concept of a microaggression is that, depending on our upbringing, we may not have learned about them in school. More often than not, he says, microaggressions stem from ignorance or a lack of education in a certain area.

However, how can you handle situations where a microaggressor refuses to listen to your direct messages? The next step is to inform your manager or someone higher up about the situation. Inform them that you have already attempted to communicate with your colleague, but it has been unsuccessful.

5. The bystander

The onlooker will witness your ideas being squashed, microaggressions being hurled at you by coworkers, and a host of other things transpiring before their own eyes. However, according to Johnson Jr., people will only be able to feel for themselves unless they go through it firsthand.

People aren’t always as self-aware as you may expect. Also, people will often play along for the sake of maintaining social status, protecting their own employment, or just getting along with others.

Johnson Jr. himself had a depressing and painful encounter with a coworker who was only watching. There was a strong bond between him and his white female coworker, he reveals. He said they used to have lunch together and knew each other’s families.

According to Johnson Jr., he assisted her in navigating the microaggressions directed towards her due to her gender. That same coworker, however, disregarded his account of experiencing microaggressions as a Black male and claimed she didn’t believe that particular coworker would act in such a manner.

Strategies for dealing with a bystander

Johnson Jr. suggests empathizing with a coworker who is a bystander by first understanding their situation and then suggesting ways they could respond more compassionately. “Do you remember when you told me that Kenny did this and it made you feel that way?” is one such example of how you could phrase this. How did you react to that? It wasn’t “No, that’s unthinkable;” rather, it was “My deepest sympathies for what you went through.”

Johnson Jr.’s attempts to inspire empathy in his coworker were unsuccessful, and the two of them would never be the same. Johnson Jr. asserts that bystanders frequently aren’t self aware enough to realize or acknowledge their own blind spots or possess the means to address their toxicity.

If that’s the case, you need to take precautions before their actions erode your self-esteem further. Keep your expectations in check. Unless you want to waste your time and energy trying to convince this individual to change their mind, you might as well ignore them. Even if you’re close to this coworker, it may assist to emotionally and physically (or digitally) distance yourself from them.

Always remember how important you are. You must always put yourself first, because it is quite difficult to establish a secure emotional bond with someone who does not share your beliefs. You can attempt to assist a toxic coworker in changing their ways, but in the end, you can’t control their actions. Taking care of yourself is paramount, and you’re doing your job for the right reasons.